之前我并未看過Ellen Show,也不知道Ellen DeGeneres為何人。在開心網看了她在杜蘭大學的畢業(yè)主題演講之后才知道她。很喜歡她的演講?!盘m大學在路易斯安那州,新奧爾良。 ellen同學出生在美國路易安娜州,1958年生,水瓶座,推銷員的女兒。號稱法國,英國,德國,愛爾蘭四國混血。你可以從她的金發(fā)碧眼里看出她的日耳曼血統(tǒng),從大鼻子里發(fā)現法國血統(tǒng),從她在The Ellen Degenerate Show中彪悍的坐姿里發(fā)現愛爾蘭血統(tǒng)。她也是新奧爾良人,12次艾美獎獲得者。
Thank you, President Cowan, Mrs. President Cowen; distinguished guests, undistinguished guests - you know who you are, honored faculty and creepy Spanish teacher. 謝謝,卡恩校長和校長夫人、各位尊貴的來賓,和沒那么尊貴的來賓——你自己知道自己是誰,各位尊敬的教職員和討厭的西班牙語老師。
And thank you to all the graduating class of 2009, I realize most of you are hungover and have splitting headaches and haven't slept since Fat Tuesday, but you can't graduate 'til I finish, so listen up. 感謝所有2009屆的畢業(yè)生,我知道你們絕大多數人還因為宿醉頭痛欲裂,狂歡到今天都還沒睡,但沒聽完我的演講你們就不能畢業(yè),所以都聽好了。
When I was asked to make the commencement speech, I immediately said yes. 當我被問及是否來參加畢業(yè)典禮演講的時候,我立刻就回答了:Yes!
Then I went to look up what commencement meant. 然后,我才去查“畢業(yè)典禮”是什么意思。
Which would have been easy if I had a dictionary, but most of the books in our house are Portia's, and they're all written in Australian. 如果我有本詞典的話就輕松多了,但我們家大部分的書都是波蒂亞的,這些書都是澳大利亞語的。(這里是拿波蒂亞的口音說笑。Portia de Rossi,墨爾本大學法律系的高材生,是個澳洲出生的小鎮(zhèn)姑娘,2008年和Ellen結婚)
So I had to break the word down myself, to find out the meaning. 所以我得自己摸索,去找出這個詞的意思。
Commencement: common, and cement. Common cement. Commencement畢業(yè)典禮,common常見的,and cement水泥,Common cement. 常見的水泥。
You commonly see cement on sidewalks. 你常常見到水泥,在人行道上。
Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother's back. 人行道有裂縫,如果你踩到裂縫,那么就會撞上你媽媽的背。
So there's that. 所以大概意思就是這樣了。
But I'm honored that you've asked me here to speak at your common cement. 但我很榮幸被邀請來站在你們“常見的水泥”上演講。(笑)
I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus - alumini - aluminum - alumis - you had to graduate from this school. 我以為非得是又有名,又是你們的校友(小游、效尤、消油)才能來。
And I didn't go to college here, and I don't know if President Cowan knows, I didn't go to any college at all. Any college. 我沒有在這里念過大學,我不知道卡恩校長知不知道,我根本沒有上過大學,任何大學。
And I'm not saying you wasted your time, or money, but look at me, I"m a huge celebrity. 當然,我不是說你們在浪費時間和金錢,不過看看我,我可是個超級大名人啊。 (全場爆笑~包括卡恩)
Although I did graduate from the school of hard knocks, our mascot was the knockers. 事實上我畢業(yè)于社會磨難成長之中。
I spent a lot of time here growing up.My mom worked at (?) and I would go there every time I needed to steal something out of her purse. 我在這兒度過成長的時光。我媽媽在XX工作,我常來找她,每當我要偷她錢包里的錢時。(大家笑)
But why am I here today? Clearly not to steal, you're too far away and I'd never get away with it. 但是,今天我為什么到這里來呢? 顯然不是來偷你們的錢,你們隔得那么遠,而且就算得手我也跑不掉。
I'm here because of you. Because I can't think of a more tenacious, more courageous graduating class. 我今天來這里是因為你們。沒有比你們更堅韌,更勇敢的畢業(yè)生了。
I mean, look at you all, wearing your robes. Usually when you're wearing a robe at 10 in the morning, it means you've given up. 看看你們每一個人,穿著你們的袍子(學士袍),通常我們說早上十點還穿著袍子(睡袍),代表你放棄人生了。
I'm here because I love New Orleans. I was born and raised here, I spent my formative years here, and like you, while I was living here I only did laundry six times. 我在這里,因為我愛新奧爾良。我在這里出生長大,在此度過最美好的時光。和你們一樣,我住在這里時,也就洗過六次衣服。(眾人笑)
When I finished school, I was completely lost. And by school, I mean middle school, but I went ahead and finished high school anyway. 當我從學校畢業(yè)以后,我完完全全迷失了自我。我所說的學校,是指初中(大家笑)。后來我還是繼續(xù)讀完了高中。
And I - I really, I had no ambition, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I did everything from - I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vaccuum cleaners, I had no idea. 我當時沒有任何抱負,我不知道自己想做什么。我什么工作都做,我剝過牡蠣、做過迎賓、酒保、服務員、粉刷房子、賣吸塵器,我完全不知道自己想做什么。
And I thought I'd just finally settle in some job, and I would make enough money to pay my rent, maybe have basic cable, maybe not, I didn't really have a plan. 我只想隨便找個糊口的工作,過一輩子,能有錢付得起房租就行。也許還能裝個有線電視,也許沒有。我完全沒有任何計劃。
My point is that, by the time I was your age, I really thought I knew who I was, but I had no idea. 我想說的是,當我像你們這么大的時候,我真的以為我了解自己,但其實我并不了解。
Like for example, when I was your age, I was dating men. 舉例來說,我在你們這個年紀的時候,還在跟男人約會。(大家大笑。Ellen系著名女同志,八號提案被否決后,高調和女友結婚,雙方家長參加)
So what I'm saying is, when you're older, most of you will be gay. Anyone writing this stuff down? Parents? 所以我的意思是,當你們再長大點后,大多數的人,多數會變成同性戀。沒人把這句話記下來么?父母們?(全場爆笑,ellen自己也笑了)
Anyway, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and the way I ended up on this path was from a very tragic event. 總之,當時我不知道我的人生要干嘛,而最后我找到了我的人生目標,卻是因為一件十分悲慘的事。
I was maybe 19, and my girlfriend at the time was killed in a car accident. And I passed the accident, and I didn't know it was her and I kept going, and I found out shortly after that, it was her. 我那時可能才19歲,當時的女友死于車禍。我從事故現場旁經過,不知道那就是她,還繼續(xù)往前走,不久后,才知道那是她。
And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, I had no heat, no air, I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas. 我當時住在地下室里,沒有錢,沒有暖氣,沒有新鮮空氣,床墊就放在地板上,房間里滿是跳蚤。
And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? 我困惑不已,心想,為什么她突然走了,而跳蚤卻還在這里?
I don't understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call God, and ask these questions. 我無法理解,但其中一定有什么理由。要是能直接拿起電話打給上帝問個清楚,不就太好了。
And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God, which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, and I hadn't even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town. I said, "I'm gonna do this on the Tonight Show With Johnny Carson"- at the time he was the king - "and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down." 于是我開始寫一些東西,心里涌現出我跟上帝的對話,雖然只是我一個人的獨白。當我完成立它后,我閱讀了這個劇本,對自己說——那時候我還沒做過脫口秀,小鎮(zhèn)里也沒有這樣的表演——我說,“我要在約翰尼卡森的《今夜秀》上跟大家說這些” ——當時,他是脫口秀之王——“我會成為這個節(jié)目里第一個被邀請和強尼一起坐下來被訪問的女嘉賓”。
And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote. 數年之后,我成為這個節(jié)目史上,第一位也是唯一一位,被邀請坐下來和他訪問的女性,就因為我寫的這個跟上帝電話的對話。
And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay. 從此我開始做單人脫口秀,做得很成功,也很辛苦,因為我試圖討好每個人,同時守著我身為同性戀的秘密。
And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me. 我想要是人們發(fā)現了,就不會喜歡我了。
Then my career turned into - I got my own sitcom, and that was very successful, another level of success. 后來我開始做情景喜劇,我自己的情景喜劇,很成功,另一個數量級的成功。
And I thought, what if they find out I'm gay, then they'll never watch. 我于是更擔心,要是人們發(fā)現了怎么辦,是不是就不會看我的節(jié)目了。
And this was a long time ago, this was when we just had white presidents - this was back, many years ago - and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn't live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative. And my character would come out at the same time. 這都是很久以前的事了,那時候我們的總統(tǒng)還都是白人。(大家大笑)說回來,回到多年前。最終我還是決定,我一直帶著羞恥和恐懼而活,我再也不能像那樣活下去了,于是我決定讓劇中的主角和我自己同時出柜。
And it wasn't to make a political statement, it wasn't to do anything other than to free myself up from this heaviness that I was carrying around, and I just wanted to be honest. 不是為了什么政治原因或是其他,只是為了讓我從一個背負已久的沉重枷鎖中釋放出來,我只是想要誠實!
And I thought, "What's the worst that could happen? I can lose my career". I did. I lost my career. 我想還會有什么悲慘的事情發(fā)生嗎?難道我會失去演藝事業(yè)嗎?結果,我真的失去了。
The show was cancelled after six years, without even telling me, I read it in the paper. 我的節(jié)目在做了六年之后,沒有告知我就停播了,我看報紙才知道。
The phone didn't ring for three years. I had no offers. Nobody wanted to touch me at all. 家里的電話三年沒有再響過。沒人愿意找我做節(jié)目。沒人愿意接觸我。
Yet, I was getting letters from kids that almost committed suicide, but didn't, because of what I did. 然而我收到了想要自殺的同性戀孩子的來信,他們因為我的出柜而最終沒有自殺。
And I realised that I had a purpose. 我才意識到,我在這個世界上是有目的的。
And it wasn't just about me and it wasn't about celebrity, but I felt like I was being punished... it was a bad time, I was angry, I was sad, and then I was offered a talkshow. 它不僅僅是關于我,也不是關于名流,而是我覺得自己好像受到懲罰。。。那曾是一段痛苦的日子,我覺得悲傷、憤怒,后來有人找我做脫口秀。
And the people that offered me the talkshow tried to sell it. And most stations didn't want to pick it up. Most people didn't want to buy it because they thought nobody would watch me. 制作公司想要賣出節(jié)目,但是大多數電視臺都不愿意買,因為他們覺得沒有人會要看我的節(jié)目。
Really when I look back on it, I wouldn't change a thing. 當我回想起這些往事的事情,我一點也不想去改變什么。
I mean, it was so important for me to lose everything because I found out what the most important thing is, is to be true to yourself. 因為我意識到,即使失去一切,最重要的事是,是對自己誠實。
Ultimately, that's what's gotten me to this place. I don't live in fear, I'm free, I have no secrets. and I know I'll always be ok, because no matter what, I know who I am. 我的選擇令我在今天能活得自在。沒有恐懼和秘密,我知道一切都是OK的,因為無論如何,我知道自己是誰。
So In conclusion, when I was younger I thought success was something different. I thought when I grow up, I want to be famous. I want to be a star. I want to be in movies. 所以,總結一下,當我年輕時候,對成功的定義和現在不同。我想我的志愿是,我長大之后,要很出名,要做明星,拍電影。
When I grow up I want to see the world, drive nice cars, I want to have groupies. To quote the Pussycat Dolls. How many people thought it was "boobies", by the way? It's not, it's "groupies". 我想環(huán)游世界,開名車,我要有自己的粉絲(groupies)。以上引用小野貓演唱組的話。嘿,有多少人聽成boobies了,不,我說的是粉絲。
But my idea of success is different today. 但現在我對成功的看法已經改變了。
And as you grow, you'll realise the definition of success changes. 當你長大,就會明白成功的定義是會變的。
For many of you, today, success is being able to hold down 20 shots of tequila. 對你們中的很多人來說,成功的定義是能灌下20杯龍舌蘭酒。
For me, the most important thing in your life is to live your life with integrity, and not to give into peer pressure. to try to be something that you're not. To live your life as an honest and compassionate person. to contribute in some way. 對我來說,生命中最重要的事是:活得誠實!不要因別人的壓力而逼著就做不是真正的你,要活得正直,有憐憫之心,在某些方面有所貢獻。
So to conclude my conclusion: follow your passion, stay true to yourself. Never follow anyone else's path, unless you're in the woods and you're lost and you see a path, and by all means you should follow that. Don't give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass. Don't take anyone's advice. So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine. 最后,總結一下我的總結:追隨熱情,忠于自我。決不要追隨別人的腳步。除非你在森林里迷路了才要這么做。別給人忠告,別接受任何人的忠告。所以,我要給大家的忠告是(大家大笑):做真實的自己,一切都會沒事的。
And I know that a lot of you are concerned about your future, but there's no need to worry. The economy is booming, the job market is wide open, the planet is just fine. 我知道在座很多人都在擔心自己的前途,但不用擔心,經濟蓬勃發(fā)展,就業(yè)前景相當看好(大家大笑),地球也好得很?。ù蠹倚Γ?br> It's gonna be great. 一切都會好的。
You've already survived a hurricane. What else can happen to you? And as I mentioned before, some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most. And now you know the right questions to ask in your first job interview. Like, "Is it above sea level?" . 你們都經歷了颶風,還有什么可怕的?正如我前面提到的,最慘痛的事會教你最多。現在你知道第一次面試的時候該問什么嗎?“公司高于海平面嗎?”(大家笑)
So to conclude my conclusion that I've previously concluded, in the common cement speech, I guess what I'm trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you'll have more beads than you know what to do with. And you'll be drunk, most of the time. 最后,總結一下我剛才做的“常見的水泥”演講的結論,我猜我想說的是,人生猶如一場狂歡嘉年華,記得展現你的頭腦而不是胸部。
So the Katrina class of 2009, I say congratulations and if you don't remember a thing I said today, remember this: you're gonna be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance. 經歷了卡特里娜颶風的2009屆畢業(yè)生們,祝賀你們。如果你完全不記得我今天說了什么,就請記住這一句:you're gonna be OK, dum de dum dum dum,Just Dance!(Lady Gaga的歌。Ellen DeGeneres's Show的結束音樂。Just Dance音樂響起,全場起立,Ellen跳舞環(huán)場一周。) 這篇影評有劇透